It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
