I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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