dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
