She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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