mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Randomize
