so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
