i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Randomize
