It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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