Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
