The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
There's always time for handjobs
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
