I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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