yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I licked your asshole in confidence.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
