Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
