awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
