So drunk its hurt
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
