it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
