On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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