Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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