So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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