decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
