He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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