spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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