party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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