So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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