Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
