The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
