I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
