so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
