just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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