I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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