So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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