VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
time to smoke my breakfast
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
