when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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