WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
