I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
