Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
