We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
