Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
