I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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