so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
