I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
