i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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