Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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