I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
