Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
