I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
