I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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