Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
