At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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