btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
