Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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